Lord knows I would.
gardening, not a foodie,
hiking, hate yuppies,
terrified of this thing, Flying Lotus,
sober except for weed, smoke a j,
if you also want to do something
this weekend other than drink,
live in the woods,
living in the woods,
lived in the woods,
anti-civ, anti-capitalist, anti-social,
if you are also staring at this screen
wondering why you’ve lost the ability
to do this whole thing in real life,
books, feelings, coffee,
dirty house, punk house, squatting,
precarious, not pretentious,
out of work, part time service industry,
if you’re also as confused as me
as to why you’re on here,
ACAB, LSD, EBT picnic,
not lonely, lonely looking for friends,
college graduate, college dropout,
Kanye West, Drake, nihilist, Ke$ha,
if you’re also not looking for ‘the one’."
I bet you’ve got loads of boyfriends’
I wish I could think of a way to tell this strange old man to get off my counter
but I know he’s just
trying his luck
his wife looks over but says nothing
I wish I could tell him
‘oh sir, little do you know’
I wish I could tell him that he’s breaking my heart
that I scare boys off with all the ferocity my shattered little head can muster
that I’m a good person
but I’m sullen and moody and dangerous
and they all turn the other cheek
that maybe, if he’d listen, I’d even let him try me on for size
maybe he’s seen it all
and no pissy girl can scare him off
1. Always carry $5 and a lighter with you (even if you don’t smoke).
2. Ask every person you meet how their day is going. Genuinely ask with the soul intention of learning how their day is. Ask the coffee shop employee. Ask the person next to you in line at Walmart. Ask your distant friend. Ask everyone.
3. Take many photos of yourself. Take photos of yourself when you’re happy. Take photos of yourself when you’re sad. Take photos of yourself because there are millions of trees in the world, and we all look at the same sky, but there is only one of you.
4. Stay in contact with your parents. Try not to hate them. They are the reason you have the ability to feel anything at all. Try not to hate your parents.
5. Opening your skin will not set your demons free. Open your heart. Open your mind. Open your hands.
6. Nobody knows anybody completely. That’s okay.
7. Be gentle, but be aggressive. Take a stand. Nobody hears your voice if you stay silent.
8. Respect everybody. We are all humans trying to survive. We all deserve respect.
9. Wearing black will ALWAYS make you feel better about yourself.
10. Always give tips, whether it be a couple extra dollars or a piece of mind. You never know how much you could be helping someone.
11. Change is the only thing consistent in life. Do not allow that bother you. Embrace chance and move with life, whichever direction it chooses to take you.
12. Smile often. Smile at strangers. Smile at your friends. Smile when nobody is looking and you’re alone in your bedroom. Smile when somebody is rambling to you.
13. Body image means nothing. Your body is merely just a seatbelt in the car. Your body is here to protect you. You choose the direction you go, and your body will not hold you back. Only you can hold yourself back.
14. Don’t hold grudges. Don’t allow yourself to hate anybody. Forgive them. Learn to love them for the person you never got to see them to be. Believe that a beautiful human exists in that person. Wish them well.
15. Drink orange juice. Lots of it.
16. Don’t allow the opinions of others to choose your destiny. We are all simply trying to live our own life.
17. Sing all the time. Sing off key. Sing in a silly voice. Sing like you’re on stage. Sing no matter who is around. Singing is breathing for the soul. Sing.
18. Take time to think. Write your feelings down. Write letters to the people you love. Texting is overrated and not as heartfelt as a nice handwritten letter.
19. Live for yourself. Breathe for yourself. Do everything in your life for nobody but you. This is your life. This is it."
I am attracted to the idea
of your lips
exploring my body
as if it were a map
and you kept getting lost
all women were bigger and stronger than you
and thought they were smarter
women were the ones who started wars
too many of your friends had been raped by women wielding giant dildos
and no K-Y Jelly
the state trooper
who pulled you over on the New Jersey Turnpike
was a woman
and carried a gun
the ability to menstruate
was the prerequisite for most high-paying jobs
your attractiveness to women depended
on the size of your penis
every time women saw you
they’d hoot and make jerking motions with their hands
women were always making jokes
about how ugly penises are
and how bad sperm tastes
you had to explain what’s wrong with your car
to big sweaty women with greasy hands
who stared at your crotch
in a garage where you are surrounded
by posters of naked men with hard-ons
men’s magazines featured cover photos
of 14-year-old boys
tucked into the front of their jeans
and articles like:
“How to tell if your wife is unfaithful”
“What your doctor won’t tell you about your prostate”
“The truth about impotence”
the doctor who examined your prostate
was a woman
and called you “Honey”
you had to inhale your boss’s stale cigar breath
as she insisted that sleeping with her
was part of the job
you couldn’t get away because
the company dress code required
you wear shoes
designed to keep you from running
And what if
after all that
women still wanted you
to love them.
For the Men Who Still Don’t Get It, written 20 years ago by Carol Diehl.
She wrote a post about the history of this poem that is worth reading.
but when we’re lying down
on our bed
and she fits my limbs
when she’s dragging her lips
on my neck
even in her sleep
i guess i’m allowed to boast
that she’s pretty